Tipping Is Appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: tipping!!!!

Originally posted by talula
i cant believe everyone has jumped down my throat just because i expressed the way i feel. do you know how many times a client and i had great time and he promises to take care of me for the little extras, like maybe sticking my finger up his ass and he walks away handing me over a $10.00 bill, now dont tell me you wouldnt be pissed over that. im not saying that you "should" tip in advance for every session but if you want extras or girlfriend treatment then you should pay in advance and if your a nice honest man then you wont have a problem with that
Tatula, what you are discribing is not tipping. Its quid pro quo. Its the stating, up front, of levels of service and the fee associated with that level. Tipping is what comes AFTER when that level has been either reached with some aplomb, or exceeded.

To be very exact. If you want a certain about of money for sticking a finger in a guys ass, state so upfront. Have a menu and charge either for an all inclusive mean, or ala cart. Don't expect tipping to take care of that, because that is not what tipping is all about.

Now that I know you are planning to go indepentant, let me suggest to you that many won't tip you at all. In this industry, as in many others, independents are seen as private contractors. Individuals that own their own business. You don't tip the boss. You pay an agreed upon fee, figuring the boss had enough sense to measure their costs and the right profit margin into the equation that figures their bottom line/profit margin ratio.

Understand that before you get into the independent game. Its how it works, and if you don't understand that you are going to get very pissed off.

Sure, some men tip independents. Most don't.
Originally posted by justlooking
Yeah, but it sounds more like what you're saying is, "to hate me is to love me". Except nobody hates you.

Well, nobody who counts.
Well, from what I have been reading of late from some providers on this board it ought to read:

To hate me is to except money to have sex with me.

Probably much closer to the truth then we have ever been witness to before.

Who was it that said, "The truth shall set you free!", anyway?
Originally posted by Elmo
...they bring up the fact that you said you would give them a good tip if the service was good and try to make you feel guilty about not handing over extra for lousy service.
Unlike many other johns, I am not shy about speaking my mind to a person's face.

When tipping is mentioned upfront I presume the person is less the desirous to meet a certain level or standard, even if she states she performs to that standard in our pre-get together exchanges. I am very upfront with them in that regard. I repeat what I expect, politely of course, and await a response. If the response is in anyway hesitant or non-commital, I take myself out of the situation. Sometimes, if a room was specifically taken for our meeting, I will pay for it as I am the one ending the session. However, if I discern no out of pocket expenses have been accrued, I simply leave. After all, if all she is out is time then we are even. I am out time as well, and my time is worth something to me.

I am of the thinking that customers who put up with such attitudes from providers [not just sex providers, providers in total... I don't wait behind velvet ropes to get into clubs either, for instance] are desperate or seeking abuse. I am neither.

However, on the otherside of the coin, when I am met with candor regarding expected fees for desired levels of service, and not the car salesman approach of expecting some unnamed amount of cash as a remuneration, and then get BETTER then I was expecting, I have been known to be quite appreciative.

Its not the money, its how its handled. To me, if you want me to value your service, you better value me as a client. That's just good business.

End of rant. :)
The very mention of money is going to result in me either getting up an leaving or getting up, dressing, and asking you to leave.

I place an envelope in plain view. It will have your name on it. You are more then welcome to look in it but whatever the agreed upon amount was when we talked prior to our meeting will be in the envelope.

If you visited me at a minimum I will provide you round trip cab fare at the end of our tme together. Normally if you work for an agency and there were no issues the amount of the cab fare is what it normally takes to travel around NYC and about 25% of the fee.

If you are an Independent I normally do not tip in $$$ since you have the ability to set your own rates, but there are many other ways to show appreciation.

You can be so "smokin" that you are on fire but if you mention money when we are together it will not matter to me a bit.

BTW I think the quote is from Kelly Lebrock and a shampoo comerical not Brooke Shields.
Isnt it only ,,,99% ........agency girls that beg for tips? Indys ? Never heard of them doing that ever unless its like the $200/$250 ones?
The good ones never do Candie

Which is why I take the approach that I do. Chances are if you are asking for money up front under the conditions I outlined in my previous post there is something wrong.


Just another girl on the IRT
It was Kelly LeBrock in a 1988 Pantene shampoo commercial.

(Kimmie -- You're entitled to your opinions, and to be stupid, but if you want to insist on facts that are wrong, you have to expect a little crap thrown your way.)

Great posts by slinky and galahad, BTW.
Ari you have this weird fascination with calling me stupid.

You can correct me without calling me names, but thats the power you think you have because you are online and not in my face.

Nah, stay hiding behind a computer, it makes you a real man.

Brooke was " You know what comes between me and my Calvins?? Nothing."

This is a great thread, BTW. I am sitting here nodding and agreeing and shaking my head and disagreeing and almost got up the nerve to ask my coworkers to look at what I am reading.

almost every feeling that has ever come up for me during my short time here has surfaced in this and the "Bigger is better" thread, both started by Talula.

Food for thought, in any case.
differences again...

I guess there is big difference in working for someone and working for one self.
Working for someone, means you HAVE to attend ANY and as MANY clients your boss wants. Which could explain lots of things said up there.
Now, working for one self is another game...you make your own rules, choose your clientele, you have time to chat, e-mail, exchange pics and "feel" each other out before an actual meeting. Is more personal and you can offer more than a simple FS, BBBJTC or greek.
To me, the word "provider" has a more broader meaning than a plain fuck.
Every man has a different need and not all guys are into the "hobby", jumping from one girl to another.
Like any business, if you don't satisfy and please your client, he will NOT come back and, of course, he will look for someone else.
Providing exactly what your client is looking for means he will come back for more....
And, in my particular case, I never ask for tips, gifts or anything else.
It's very nice when I guy brings me candy, flowers or a little bear. But if he doesn't I will treat him the same. Not everyone can afford all these extras.
Peace out!!!
Betty SJ just said it for me. At the risk of being called or seeming to be a cheap bastard, I am in this hobby on a shoestring. Can afford, at most, one session a month. I never haggle and always pay the provider up front as agreed. I may bring flowers, candy, or - after I know the lady - a book but I don't have the cash for a meaningful tip every time.
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