I am not really a good salesman. I have tried selling a few different products a couple of times, but each time I concluded that I was not good at closing, I didn't enjoy the work, and I really should find some other way to make a living.
So it is with Jessica of SatinLaceLadies.
I called and reserved an appointment, the special rate was $1.5 for the hour. I arrived at the location, which is in a very residential area of J. City. It was so residential that I was uncomfortable ringing the bell. People were hanging out all over the street. Even the location was a two-family residence, complete with children hanging around.
I was led to a large room with a king bed. Jessica walked in. She is heavier than her pics on the site would suggest, but I can live with that. She is a big girl, about 5'8", ~180 lbs. Large breasts, big ass, thick thighs, fat neck. She wore a sexy red teddy, but under it she wore a very out-of-style bikini that did not flatter her. Another big turn-off was the little white ankle socks she wore. Ladies - barefoot, heels, or mules, please!
The other issue was hygene. She did not shave her armpits, and she had obviously been to the bathroom recently. She did not clean herself well, and the odor was really a problem, as I would find out later.
I took care of the biz, and got comfy. Once on the bed, she gently carressed me, but she would not approach certain areas while I roamed freely. She did nothing with her lips/mouth at all. Finally, I said, "don't be afraid, you can touch it." Which she did, and Mr. Happy started to show some signs of life. After a while, in which she progressed the session no further, I suggested we move on to some Billy Joel numbers. She first said to get covered, which I did, but then said, "I really don't do that." I don't like to feel like I am coercing a lady, so I backed off. I then went for some Frank Sinatra, but between the smell and her coy attitude, Mr. Happy just went to sleep. I tried a few different angles, even doggie (that's when I saw a little piece of TP stuck to the browneye - YUCK!). Nothing worked, so I suggested we converse in Russian. She laid down and actually covered her face with a pillow so she wouldn't have to look at me (I am no Brad Pitt, but she sure ain't no Halle Berry, either). And, she insisted that even this activity be covered so that she would avoid getting anything on her face! Well, when I visit a provider, I want what I don't get at home, a lady who is aggressive and at least fakes being into it and liking me. Jessica could not do any of that. She obviously hates her work, and doesn't fake it, either.
After a few minutes, I just gave up; it was a total turn-off. She was apologetic, and asked me not to write a bad review. I should have said a refund would keep me quiet, but I didn't think of it. Instead, I said I would mention only that Billy Joel was not on the menu, and that this kind of thing should be on the site, even if she comes in at the lower end of the pricing scale. It's a major issue for most hobbyists.
I was going to keep quiet about the rest, but I really felt that would not have been fair to my fellow UGers, who have given me so much info over the years. So, be warned about this one. Frankly, any location that would keep someone like Jessica on staff is not worth another try for me. My money is too hard to come by to blow it like this.
I hope Jessica finds another line of work to support herself. She seems like a nice (as opposed to "good") girl.
So it is with Jessica of SatinLaceLadies.
I called and reserved an appointment, the special rate was $1.5 for the hour. I arrived at the location, which is in a very residential area of J. City. It was so residential that I was uncomfortable ringing the bell. People were hanging out all over the street. Even the location was a two-family residence, complete with children hanging around.
I was led to a large room with a king bed. Jessica walked in. She is heavier than her pics on the site would suggest, but I can live with that. She is a big girl, about 5'8", ~180 lbs. Large breasts, big ass, thick thighs, fat neck. She wore a sexy red teddy, but under it she wore a very out-of-style bikini that did not flatter her. Another big turn-off was the little white ankle socks she wore. Ladies - barefoot, heels, or mules, please!
The other issue was hygene. She did not shave her armpits, and she had obviously been to the bathroom recently. She did not clean herself well, and the odor was really a problem, as I would find out later.
I took care of the biz, and got comfy. Once on the bed, she gently carressed me, but she would not approach certain areas while I roamed freely. She did nothing with her lips/mouth at all. Finally, I said, "don't be afraid, you can touch it." Which she did, and Mr. Happy started to show some signs of life. After a while, in which she progressed the session no further, I suggested we move on to some Billy Joel numbers. She first said to get covered, which I did, but then said, "I really don't do that." I don't like to feel like I am coercing a lady, so I backed off. I then went for some Frank Sinatra, but between the smell and her coy attitude, Mr. Happy just went to sleep. I tried a few different angles, even doggie (that's when I saw a little piece of TP stuck to the browneye - YUCK!). Nothing worked, so I suggested we converse in Russian. She laid down and actually covered her face with a pillow so she wouldn't have to look at me (I am no Brad Pitt, but she sure ain't no Halle Berry, either). And, she insisted that even this activity be covered so that she would avoid getting anything on her face! Well, when I visit a provider, I want what I don't get at home, a lady who is aggressive and at least fakes being into it and liking me. Jessica could not do any of that. She obviously hates her work, and doesn't fake it, either.
After a few minutes, I just gave up; it was a total turn-off. She was apologetic, and asked me not to write a bad review. I should have said a refund would keep me quiet, but I didn't think of it. Instead, I said I would mention only that Billy Joel was not on the menu, and that this kind of thing should be on the site, even if she comes in at the lower end of the pricing scale. It's a major issue for most hobbyists.
I was going to keep quiet about the rest, but I really felt that would not have been fair to my fellow UGers, who have given me so much info over the years. So, be warned about this one. Frankly, any location that would keep someone like Jessica on staff is not worth another try for me. My money is too hard to come by to blow it like this.
I hope Jessica finds another line of work to support herself. She seems like a nice (as opposed to "good") girl.
