Falling for a client

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Kimmie

#1
#1
We have discussed clients developing feelings for providers. It seems to be a very popular situation. Obviously it is easy for men to fall for the charms and skills of a provider.

However, what if she starts to care about and like YOU?

I am not referring to her telling you she likes you just so she can get your business..... Has she ever stopped taking your money, and still wanted to see you?

I dont want to put my fellow providers here on the spot, but ladies, have any of you ever cared about, or worse, fallen for a client?

I do not mean fall "in love" with a client.

I don't think it is possible to love someone you do not know.

Nor do I believe it is possible to "love" someones services you pay for, or have paid for.* Even if you reach a point where money is no longer being exchanged.



* This is just my opinion. I am not saying it cant happen, or hasnt happen, or that it isnt real love if it does happen.
 
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ExLS

#2
#2
Originally posted by Kimmie
We have discussed clients developing feelings for providers. It seems to be a very popular situation. Obviously it is easy for men to fall for the charms and skills of a provider.

However, what if she starts to care about and like YOU?

I am not referring to her telling you she likes you just so she can get your business..... Has she ever stopped taking your money, and still wanted to see you?

I dont want to put my fellow providers here on the spot, but ladies, have any of you ever cared about, or worse, fallen for a client?

I do not mean fall "in love" with a client.

I don't think it is possible to love someone you do not know.

Nor do I believe it is possible to "love" someone who has paid/pays for your services, or whos services you pay/paid for.* Even if you reach a point where money is no longer being exchanged.



* This is just my opinion. I am not saying it cant happen, or hasnt happen, or that it isnt real love if it does happen.
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Interesting topic. Personally, I don't stick with any one provider that long enough where that has happen. I have seen exotic dancers to a point where we dated or become VERY good friends. I tend to come across as the big brother to many people in the adult entertainment business. I believe that it is hard for the provider to fall in love. Why? It is the exchange of cash. Do you and He go out in public? Show them to your family? I wish that I had the research, but waht about the psychological factors??? Were you abused? what made you start in the business in the first place? Money for school? Family? Fun?
I have heard that a LI provider(Alexus) did run off with a customer(Happydancer 631 can verify).
When I see a provider, I like to make them feel at ease with small talk and then I rub their back or asking if they want a drink(romance them???) Usually, proivders are shocked when I do this. anyway, I would like to here others espcially from the providers standpoint because I have asked this question before.
 
K

Kimmie

#4
#4
ah I kinda edited my wording there so what I said came off correctly..

Anyway, I dont like when clients start to ask me personal questions like the ones you just posted above. I tell them straight out.. None of your business.

Cesar why would you care if she was abused or why she is a hooker? Do you also ask her how many men do you see, how many have you seen so far today?

I really really hate being asked those questions..

::shudder::

ah Dr love.. Care to share a little more with the class please? I am looking for some input here..

Thanks.
 
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Dr. Strangelove

#5
#5
Originally posted by Kimmie
....why would you care if she was abused or why she is a hooker? Do you also ask her how many men do you see, how many have you seen so far today?
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To me, it doesn't matter. Everyone has something in their past that is best left in the past.
 
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fallenwoman

#7
#7
Kimmie,

I know what you're thinking here about money not being exchanged, but I don't think it's necessarily true. I mean men still hand over their paychecks to their wives to pay the bills, and they love them, no? Money in exchange for sex has nothing to do with whether a person develops feelings for the provider or not. It all depends on the personalities, really.
I believe that there are some clients who see girls just to get off. That's it. And there are others who like to develop a friendship. And that's it. And sometimes you meet someone (provider and client) who is more vulnerable and open and you feel something we sometimes call love. Honestly, I don't think any of it has to do with the cash. Money comes in to pay the bills and make your life a little easier to handle.
Before I was in the business, I had this boyfriend who would slip $100 bills into my wallet. He knew I was struggling, and it never bothered me that he did it. It always seemed to me that he just wanted to help me out without making it look like he was being a "knight and shining armour" saying-- "Oh, you're short on cash this week... HERE... I CAN HELP YOU OUT!!!!" I feel the same way when I develop feelings for a client. Wow, I really like this person and they are helping me with my life. I know alot of girls don't see it the same way. Either, they don't want to feel anything for someone they met thru this line of work, or if they care about a client, they'll ask them to stop paying. But I guess this has infiltrated so deeply into my life, that the lines are very blurred. And for the record, the only abuse I ever received in my life was from myself. And it's consensual. Or I think it is, hold on, let me go check with myself... anyway... my 2 cents in the back of the classroom.
your loving admirer,
fw
 
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njclassyblonde

#8
#8
I have fallen for a client and him for me , but for circumstances that I wont discuss on here, it came to an abrupt end.I do think about him alot and know deep in my heart I will hear from him again.I will never forget the first time we where together, he was surprised how sensous I was the way that I kissed him and the way he kissed me back, what can I say I am a romantic., the falling for eachother came over time.
I didnt get into this business thinking that a Richard Gere like charecter in pretty women was going to whisk me away, and I did not expect to fall for a cient either, but I dont think I will allow it to happen again.
 
P

paulus

#9
#9
Originally posted by fallenwoman
Kimmie,

I know what you're thinking here about money not being exchanged, but I don't think it's necessarily true. I mean men still hand over their paychecks to their wives to pay the bills, and they love them, no? Money in exchange for sex has nothing to do with whether a person develops feelings for the provider or not. It all depends on the personalities, really.
I believe that there are some clients who see girls just to get off. That's it. And there are others who like to develop a friendship. And that's it. And sometimes you meet someone (provider and client) who is more vulnerable and open and you feel something we sometimes call love. Honestly, I don't think any of it has to do with the cash. Money comes in to pay the bills and make your life a little easier to handle.
Before I was in the business, I had this boyfriend who would slip $100 bills into my wallet. He knew I was struggling, and it never bothered me that he did it. It always seemed to me that he just wanted to help me out without making it look like he was being a "knight and shining armour" saying-- "Oh, you're short on cash this week... HERE... I CAN HELP YOU OUT!!!!" I feel the same way when I develop feelings for a client. Wow, I really like this person and they are helping me with my life. I know alot of girls don't see it the same way. Either, they don't want to feel anything for someone they met thru this line of work, or if they care about a client, they'll ask them to stop paying. But I guess this has infiltrated so deeply into my life, that the lines are very blurred. And for the record, the only abuse I ever received in my life was from myself. And it's consensual. Or I think it is, hold on, let me go check with myself... anyway... my 2 cents in the back of the classroom.
your loving admirer,
fw
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Your comments are like a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

I am sick and tired of hearing providers depersonalize their clients by classfying them as "bookings" ('she has had many satisfied bookings'); or as "appointments"; or sometimes simply as a support system existing for the sole purpose of providing mobility for a penis.

It is beyond me also why providers constantly emphasize that "this is a business". Of course, it is a business but the idea is to some extent to create the illusion that it is not. Similarly we all know that a movie is not for real, yet we do not want a sign flashing every five minutes during the performance saying "REMEMBER: This is a movie; it is not for real".

Now I am at it, it is also incomprehensible for the same reason when providers mail out detailed lists of what times are taken and when they have "openings" (hopefully they always have openings). Are we as clients supposed to be motivated to fill the last one of the openings? "Yeah man, I just love to be squeezed in between the first three of the day and the last two to complete her target of half a dozen". Is that the way guys think?

Real people dont stop being people just because they are in the role of john or providers. And you take whatever you can get of valuable relationships wherever you can get them. As the old saw goes, 'you can get pussy everywhere, but a friend is hard to find'.

Paulus
Stalingrad - Mon Amour
 
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BigMadM

Linoleum
#10
#10
I once had a girl fall for me.
She was coming out of the jacuzzi and fell right on her ass.
I would have helped her up, but her girlfriend was busy sucking my dick and it was kind of hard to get up.
I was a gentlemen though.
After my orgasm, I went to the Icemachine and filled a little plastic bag with ice so she could get the bruise and swelling down.(her bruise)
 
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K

Kimmie

#13
#13
Originally posted by fallenwoman
Kimmie,

I know what you're thinking here about money not being exchanged, but I don't think it's necessarily true. I mean men still hand over their paychecks to their wives to pay the bills, and they love them, no? Money in exchange for sex has nothing to do with whether a person develops feelings for the provider or not. It all depends on the personalities, really.
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I might take some shit here, but it hasn't stopped me before..

The reason I dont believe this to be true is there is a big difference between giving your wife money, still loving her, and then having sex with her, and giving a hooker money and having sex with her.

Your wife isnt out there fucking multiple guys for money. A hooker is.

I think men could not possibly "love" someone, or even on some level respect someone, who gets paid to fuck.

You can like each other. Maybe even care about each other, because after all we are humans with feelings. (well some of us)

From the girls stand point. How can she love someone who use to pay her to fuck him?

And even if she no longer takes his money because she enjoys the way he fucks her, she would never really love him. He not only pays her for sex, but he pays other girls for sex.

Is it possible to love someone like that? I mean really love?

Like them, YES. Understand them, YES. But love?

Love is a big word, used too much, even in this profession.

Either, they don't want to feel anything for someone they met thru this line of work, or if they care about a client, they'll ask them to stop paying.
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Here is where I agree with you.

Why would a john want to fall for a hooker, a woman who takes money for sex?

Why would a hooker fall for a man who pays girls to fuck him?

They dont want to. They cant!

And not charging them anymore isnt going to EVER change how you met. It also will NOT make him see you any differently, or YOU see him any differently.
 
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Dr. Strangelove

#14
#14
Originally posted by Kimmie
I think men could not possibly "love" someone, or even on some level respect someone, who gets paid to fuck.
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How can you possibly know what a guy is thinking?


Originally posted by Kimmie
And not charging them anymore isnt going to EVER change how you met. It also will NOT make him see you any differently, or YOU see him any differently.
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What difference does it make how two people meet?
 
K

Kimmie

#17
#17
Originally posted by Dr. Strangelove


How can you possibly know what a guy is thinking?




What difference does it make how two people meet?
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I dont know what a guy is thinking. Everything I am posting is my opinion. Not known facts.


It makes a big difference.
 
K

Kimmie

#18
#18
Originally posted by Dr. Strangelove


Maybe because he got to know the woman she is.

Maybe because she became his best friend.
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Being friends is one thing Dr love. Thats ok. I have johns who became friends.

I am mean love. REAL deep down LOVE.

It isnt possible.

That is my opinion.
 
K

Kimmie

#20
#20
Originally posted by Dr. Strangelove



So if you meet a guy who you are paying for his services, such as car repair or a doctor, it's wrong for you to fall for him, because it's just business?
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I never said it is wrong. I dont think it is wrong. I just dont think it is possible. And you can not compare using the services of a car repair guy or a doctor, to using the services of a hooker.

You are taking too much of what I am saying to heart Dr Love.

I have nothing against johns/ ex johns and hookers liking each other, or caring about each other.

I have become friends with a few of my clients. One I see off the clock. I like them, but I dont think there could ever be love involved. Mostly because of how we met each other.

I had this conversation not too long ago, with a man who was once a client. I cant quite call him a friend, but he surely isnt my lover. I told him I dont think you will ever respect me, because of how we met. He disagreed of course, but I could tell I had him thinking.

Respect is a very big thing to me.

I truly feel that, on some level, there is lack of respect between johns and hookers. And even if they started to see each other and no money were involved, it would not change.
 
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